Ill be lowering the bar next time.
Strangers on the internet called me a ‘pathetic ego-lifter’ last week. I dont lift for you though. I dont desire nor intend to compete. My obsession with strength goes far deeper than aesthetics.
I decided that i needed to and was going to be strong around 7-10 years old when a grown man grabbed me in the store and told me to go “play with him”. I was just 3 houses away from home. I escaped his grip and ran home crying to my dad HYSTERICALLY.
When i was 17 at a party some guy asked me dance and after hesitating i agreed. He then tried to stick his hand inside my pants but didnt make it far before i pushed him away.
In 2015 i was trying to escape the grip of a man once again. I was in a short ‘relationship’ with the closest thing to the devil. He was a controlling narcissist who tried to diminish me, take away my strength and i ALMOST let him. For a second i started to believe i was worthless. He was abusive in many ways and while i didn’t understand at first the changes in my attitude and behavior became noticeable to those closest to me. When i stood up to him it sparked an even bigger power trip. He spread rumors about me, showed up unannounced and tried to convince me i was at fault. He used to hide my keys so i wouldn’t go to the gym. He made me feel weak in every way and i couldn’t stand it so i left. I started working out again. I refused to let anyone have that kind of power over me. So i lifted through it.
Im not the strongest, i will never be a finished project but at the end of the day i will never be as weak as he or anyone else who tries to diminish me.
Men harass and try to disrespect me multiple times a week. An unsettling truth that millions of other women deal with too.
I lift to get stronger. In hopes to protect myself the next time its needed and to keep my mind at ease when I’m not in the mountains.
My hobbies are my passions.
They have quite literally built me.
If i didnt make it clear before, i only lift