I pulled out an old behaviour chart Daddy had made a couple of years ago for them. This week my goal is to regain some parenting control and put in a new behaviour system. For ten weeks it has just been about getting through each day, being there for them in their grief, but it has meant that all kinds of behaviour have been tolerated by me as I was feeling their pain and not wanting to add to it through discipline.
All this does though is create a bigger problem, one where I am essentially teaching them that poor behaviour is acceptable and it’s okay treat their parent with disrespect. This serves no one.
So this week, with the help of my amazing mother, I’m slowly regaining some power back in what felt like a powerless parenting situation. Through their Daddy’s chart, they will be encouraged to show care to others and the home but also to themselves. He is still here, helping them, in little ways.